Witticisms Abound.
newsweek:

Sesame Street meets Doctor Who. The internet explodes. 


Yup

newsweek:

Sesame Street meets Doctor Who. The internet explodes. 

Yup

That which does not kill me makes me bitter

When voting for your next Vice President, the choice is clear

When voting for your next Vice President, the choice is clear

Ho lee shit.
it had a scrolling led in the rear, gave off chimney smoke, and i can only imagine was driven by Jack Skellington himself.

Ho lee shit.

it had a scrolling led in the rear, gave off chimney smoke, and i can only imagine was driven by Jack Skellington himself.

mangalho:

beinggayisokay:

I’m going to die.

A++++

This is fucking fantastic.

the-absolute-best-posts:

acosmist - One who believes that nothing exists
paralian - A person who lives near the sea
aureate - Pertaining to the fancy or flowery words used by poets
dwale - To wander about deliriously
sabaism - The worship of stars
dysphoria - An unwell feeling

Erry day i’m a dwalek in a humans world. PEREGRINATE! PEREGRINATE!

THAT was a genetic transfer.

THAT was a genetic transfer.

Cunts and Cowards

Head, heart, back, 

broken, broken, broken.

A huddled mass left in the open.

Giving is the same as harming.

You can only do it of yourself for so long.

One hundred and ten.

Percent, heart rate, blood pressure.

Distress measured in numbers.

But what’s the use?

Our average survivability is a big round zero.

Insert your witty line here,

mine are too busy wrapped around my throat.

Depression, depredation, depreciation.

The three d’s to live life by. 

How goddamned charming.

We all have our workarounds,

our carrots on sticks,

our dreams and goals. 

Only the unlucky catch up.

Those that keep running never realize

that the world is made up two types of people

cunts and cowards

and we’re all so goddamned charming.

Act III: The Cancelled Play.

Other women have shown me

that you’re a terrible diva

and an even worse lay

Looking back, i’m pretty sure 

you’ve always been that way

so if you would excuse me

I’ll be taking my exit

Conceding the lead of this play.

Don’t look to the next act,

I know all your lines, and

I’ve thanked my unmet understudy

that the role’s no longer mine.

Maybe when your run is up

I’ll toss a rose for the good times

but don’t count on my urbanity

we’ve long thrown out

professional courtesy.

I found your chapstick

On the ground of my driveway

now it’s gone like you.